Bob's Burgers: 12 Best Tina Belcher Episodes
Tina Belcher (Dan Mintz) is perpetually stuck on the cusp of teenhood. After all, she's a character on an animated sitcom, which means she doesn't get to age. The eldest daughter of Bob (H. John Benjamin) and Linda (John Roberts) is desperately hormonal and fascinated by boys and butts (and especially boys' butts). She is ready to be a woman, but she isn't ready to give up her vivid imagination. She's eager to grow up but content to sink back into childhood. In short, she's a bundle of contradictions, and that's why we love her.
Over the years, "Bob's Burgers" has put Tina through the wringer. She's had her trials and tribulations, and she's occasionally gotten a taste of the grown-up freedom she desires. However, the pressures of being on a long-running sitcom mean she's doomed to continue learning the same lessons over and over. She's afraid of getting in trouble, wonderfully horny for weird sex stuff she doesn't yet understand, and often just wants to be included at school. "Bob's Burgers" continues to find endless combinations of these themes to build stories around. When an episode focuses on Tina, the show often knocks it out of the park. Read on for a look at the 12 best Tina Belcher episodes of "Bob's Burgers."
Sexy Dance Fighting — Season 1, Episode 4
Revisiting an early episode of a long-running comedy after years spent with the show's characters and humor can be revealing. "Sexy Dance Fighting," the fourth episode of "Bob's Burgers," in some ways, feels like the show is still finding its identity. Bob's neck seems thinner than it is these days. Teddy's voice sounds different like Larry Murphy recorded his lines with a much worse microphone. There's also a joke about "special needs" kids that seems like it probably wouldn't make it into a script today — too mean.
Tina, though? The Tina of "Sexy Dance Fighting" is the Tina of today, and this episode goes a long way toward cementing her main traits. The Belchers' eldest daughter falls under the spell of a "sexy, sensual, creepy, sexy jerk" of a capoeira instructor named Jairo (Jon Glaser). She signs up for his class and begins neglecting her duties around the restaurant, which has ripple effects on the rest of the family.
This is the Tina we know and love: laying on the ground, groaning with a puberty-induced bout of existential ennui. She's horny without shame, the kind of kid who will encounter the stinky-feet smell of the capoeira studio and take a deep, satisfied whiff. Ultimately, she wants to do right by her dad. At this point in her life, at least, father-daughter time is more precious than all the boys in the world.
Bad Tina — Season 2, Episode 8
Fundamentally, Tina Belcher is a good kid. Sure, she's overwhelmed by her teenage hormones, desperate to be liked, and desperate for the cute boy across the street to notice her, but really, her allegiance lies with her family. "Bad Tina" is the episode that introduces Tina's frenemy, Tammy (Jenny Slate), a cool girl with a side pony who proves to be a bad influence. When Tina is tasked with showing her around the school, she finds herself acting out and taking up Tammy's slang — like "Don't be a boob punch."
This is also the episode that introduced the term "erotic friend fiction" to the culture. Tina loves occupying her time writing erotic fan fiction about properties ranging from "Bones" to "Sesame Street," but in this episode, her attention turns to Jimmy Jr. (H. John Benjamin). Tammy threatens to read Tina's erotic friend fiction aloud to the whole school, leading to Tina deciding to write "the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever" and read it herself.
This is a very funny episode. There's a scene where Tina and Tammy perv on the boys' locker room through a hole that only lets them see their feet. We meet Tina's porcelain horse, "Horcelain," learn the phrase "Don't have a crap attack," and are treated to a Joan Jett-esque song about seeing the movie "Dog Prom." Yet again, though, the family's support of Tina's misbehavior winds up being the most heartwarming aspect. "She's changing, Bobby," Linda moans. "Tina's turning into a teen."
Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks — Season 3, Episode 7
"Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks," the seventh episode of the third season of "Bob's Burgers," contains what may be the funniest Tina-related sequence in the show's history. After a trip to a restaurant supply store, Bob notices that the parking lot is nearly empty and offers to let Tina try driving. She panics, of course, letting out her patented nonstop groan. There's only one other car in the parking lot, and despite Bob's increasingly-frantic shouts of "Tina! For the love of God, turn away or stop!" she aims right for it and slowly ... ever so slowly ... crashes. It's a masterclass in comedic timing, a slow-moving disaster.
The situation spirals out of control when Bob learns that the other car belongs to his rival, Jimmy Pesto (Jay Johnston). A crooked insurance adjuster (Bob Odenkirk) gets involved, and before long, Tina has convinced herself that she's cursed. As with many of the best Tina episodes, "Tina-rannosaurus Wrecks" explores her fundamental desire to be a good kid, mining comedy from her panic at having done something wrong.
There's another quintessential Tina moment in this episode. While catering a barbecue for the insurance agent — which ultimately leads to Tina burning down the man's house — Bob tells her to put on her "everything-is-okay" face. The series of pained, contorted expressions that follow are a brilliant example of the show's animation style brilliantly lending itself to character comedy, especially for Tina. After all, the girl has a lot of emotions.
Mazel-Tina — Season 4, Episode 13
One of the best aspects of Tina Belcher is her aching need to fit in. It's an understandable teenage emotion that just about everybody can relate to. In "Bob's Burgers," it's dialed up to 11. The Season 4 episode "Mazel-Tina" combines a story about Tina's need to fit in (in this case, be invited to Tammy's bat mitzvah) with a story about her tendency to let the tiniest bit of power go to her head. When Louise (Kristen Schaal) convinces Tammy's party planner to quit during the event, Tina steps up. Before long, she's running the whole thing, taking over the party from within.
At this point in the show's run, "Bob's Burgers" operates like a well-oiled machine. Nearly every line in this episode is funny, from Louise's revelation that Tina is so unfamiliar with Judaism that she thought Hanukkah was Han Solo and Chewbacca's baby to Gene's (Eugene Mirman) horrified exclamation of "Ahh! One luft ballon!" when he sees an upset and flushed Tina. We're also introduced to the slang term "B-FOS," which stands for "Boys From Other Schools." "I need fresh faces ... and fresh butts," Tina exclaims.
Tammy is a great foil for Tina. Both girls relish any chance to command the attention of boys, but where Tina is anxious, Tammy is overconfident. By the end of the episode, Tina, drunk on social power, gains a newfound appreciation for her rival. In its weird way, it's sweet!
The Equestranauts — Season 4, Episode 17
If Tina Belcher is anything, she's a horse girl. In the fourth season episode "The Equestranauts," Tina and her family visit a fan convention for a show that's a "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" ripoff. Like its real-world counterpart, "The Equestranauts" has attracted a sizable fanbase of adult men. They call themselves Equesticles. While Louise is tickled by this discovery, exclaiming, "This is a kind of man! We've discovered a new kind of man!" the situation leads to Tina feeling out of place at a convention where she thought she'd finally fit in.
Unfortunately, when Tina meets an Equesticle named Bronconius (Paul F. Thompkins), she's swindled out of a rare toy. Bob agrees to go undercover at the convention to get her toy back, pretending to be an Equesticle himself so that he can infiltrate Bronconius' friend group.
"The Equestranauts" is a great Tina episode. Her panic over the fact that she accidentally gave her father "non-canonical" study material — fan fiction she wrote about "certain zombie-horse related things" — is hysterical. This is also a great Bob episode, however, proving that a Tina plot is often the best vehicle for Bob to demonstrate his love for his kids. When Bronconius realizes Bob is a plant, he sneers, "You did all this for your daughter?!" Bob's deadpan reply of "... Yes?" says it all.
Midday Run — Season 5, Episode 8
On its face, "Midday Run" has a simple premise. Tina is up for a hall-monitor promotion at school, hoping to be made Hall Manatee. After an elaborate fantasy where she imagines herself being knighted by Mr. Frond while cannons salute and jets do a confetti-filled flyover, she discovers that her day will be far from easy. She is tasked with escorting Zeke (Bobby Tisdale) to the principal's office. When he escapes, she asks Gene and Louise to help her find him, offering them permanent hall passes in return.
Often, Tina-related comedy comes from the dialogue, especially from Dan Mintz's vocal performance. On the other hand, "Midday Run" is a perfect episode that shows off the physical comedy that the character is also capable of. By Season 5, the animation has become more dynamic, leading to funny shots like the angled view of Tina smashing Jimmy Jr.'s face in a tray of chowder. The show finds subtle humor in the awkward, straight-armed way Tina runs, in the so-simple-it's-brilliant setup of Tina and Zeke crawling through a room full of desks, and from the classic sitcom premise of two characters joined together by a Chinese finger trap. There's humor and character work in the particular hunch of Tina's orange vest-covered shoulders as she leads Zeke down the hall. In other words, she's a girl mad with power, desperate to prove herself, but she's the same lovable weirdo at heart.
The Horse Rider-er — Season 6, Episode 17
Tina, like many teens, is simultaneously terrified of, fascinated by, and eager for the process of growing up. At the beginning of "The Horse Rider-er," Tina writes in her diary that she's not okay. "I mean, I'm 13, and I've never even ridden a horse!" she moans. Instead, she still holds on to her imaginary horse, Jericho. It's just like Tina to mark her transition to adulthood this way. To achieve her grown-up goal, she begs her parents to go to horse camp. While they can't afford to send her to her dream camp in Montana, they manage to scrape together funds for a local day camp. Tina is ready to let Jericho go.
However, horse camp isn't what she hoped. Tina is dismayed ("Oh, hell neigh.") to see her nemeses Tammy and Jocelyn there. Her assigned horse, Plops, doesn't seem to like her despite her best efforts, which include bringing him an apple and a framed photo of herself to hang in his stall. "Just because my horse, Plops, hates me and stepped on my foot and bit my hair and peed all over my backpack doesn't mean that I'm not having a great time!" she tells her family.
Ultimately, Tina decides to ride her imaginary horse, Jericho, instead, trotting around the track on her own. "I love my weird, brave sister!" Gene exclaims. Sometimes, a girl isn't ready to give up her imaginary horse, and that's okay.
Boywatch — Season 8, Episode 17
It's summer in "Boywatch," an episode that opens with the Belcher kids wandering the beach by Wonder Wharf. After Tina spots a group of Junior Lifeguards that includes some cute boys, she signs up, claiming it's always been her dream to save drowning swimmers. She immediately struggles to keep up with the group, whether they're dolphin-diving past the waves, performing CPR on a dummy named Can't Breath-ey Stevie, or doing stretches that give her a view of the butts of her fellow lifeguards. "You sink or swim — or save sinking swimmers — as a squad!" the coach admonishes the group, punishing everyone when Tina can't complete an exercise.
Like many great Tina-centric episodes, "Boywatch" has a simple premise: Tina wants to meet some shirtless teenage boys, and that pushes the character to her breaking point. In this case, instead of giving up, Tina doubles down and commits to learning how to be a Junior Lifeguard. Like several others on this list, "Boywatch" is also a "Tina-wants-to-be-liked" episode, but it's one where she ultimately succeeds at her goal. Even though the other kids find her strange and are annoyed by her behavior, she eventually wins the squad over through sheer force of will. No matter what else is happening, Tina Belcher is always fully and unapologetically herself.
Legends of the Mall — Season 10, Episode 5
"Legends of the Mall" isn't just a great Tina Belcher episode. Ten seasons into the show's run, it's a knockout episode that lands on this list because it just so happens to feature a great Tina subplot. "Legends of the Mall" stands out because it takes the characters out of their element. The restaurant doesn't make an appearance at all. ("There are probably ones of people back there, banging on the door," Louise teases her father.) Instead, each character gets a storyline at the mall. This episode shows what a fantastic job "Bob's Burgers" does at juggling A, B, C, and D-plots that feed into each other and overlap, balancing each character's arc brilliantly.
As in many episodes, Tina competes with Tammy and Jocelyn. They bet who can snag the best "mall dolls," Tina's term for eye candy (aka food court Casanovas). After several mishaps, Tina comes across a boy dozing on a bench. A miscommunication leads to the boy's friends thinking Tina is his girlfriend, simultaneously thrilling and panicking her. Most of the action takes place on this bench as Tina's lie escalates. It's more about the delivery of the tightly-written dialogue than any elaborate situation. A masterclass in sitcom writing, "Legends of the Mall" is an episode that could only come from years of knowing exactly who this character is.
Vampire Disco Death Dance — Season 11, Episode 22
"Vampire Disco Death Dance," the Season 11 finale, isn't necessarily the funniest episode of "Bob's Burgers." However, it might be one of the most emotionally resonant. The relationship between Bob and Tina takes center stage, and it's one of the show's strongest. Bob supports Tina unconditionally. He's willing to go to bat for his daughter, even if he often expresses momentary discomfort with her burgeoning womanhood. In "Vampire Disco Death Dance," he offers to take her to a "Rocky Horror Picture Show"-esque cult movie he loved when he was a kid, excited to show his daughter something that was meaningful to him.
Tina, however, is preoccupied with the kids she's spent 11 seasons trying to befriend. Zeke, Jimmy Jr., Tammy, and Jocelyn have become obsessed with "Drinking or Not Drinking," a game where you guess if someone is actually drinking or just keeping their straw in their mouth. Tina finds this unbelievably boring, and she's existentially panicked at the idea that her friends might just kinda suck. She invites them to see the movie instead. The group, which Tina terms the Kid Krew, isn't interested in the movie the same way Bob is. He's upset to see his daughter so preoccupied that she's missing all the fun.
Tina's arc in this episode is nuanced and emotional. Part of growing up is about finding your tribe, and Tina hasn't yet found hers. That's okay, though. At least she has Bob in her corner.
Crystal Mess — Season 12, Episode 2
Tina has always been an anxious kid. In the opening of "Crystal Mess," she sits at the breakfast table and emits what Linda refers to as her "sad mumble grumbles" — the extended groaning noise she makes whenever she's nervous. This time, she's scared of visibly sweating during her upcoming oral report. When she has a panic attack in the hallway, the guidance counselor finally notices her anxiety. Mr. Frond offers to let her hold on to a lucky crystal given to him by his new girlfriend, and it seems to work. The presentation goes great. Soon, the entire school is convinced that Tina's crystal is good luck. Gene and Louise turn Tina's crystal into a money-making scheme, which gets interrupted when it's stolen.
"Bob's Burgers" walks right up to the line of making the episode's drug reference too obvious. (Not to belabor the point, but the episode is called "Crystal Mess," and "Tina" is a street name for meth). That would be too edgy for this show, especially for what this show has become in its twelfth season. The references are there if you want them, but they're easy enough to miss.
Instead, we get a surprisingly warm look at what Tina would be like if she could let her anxiety go. By the end, she comes to see her nervousness as something to be acknowledged, not something to run from. It's a message likely to resonate with plenty of people.
Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang — Season 13, Episode 11
After 13 seasons, it's impressive that "Bob's Burgers" continues to find grounded stories to tell about Tina's life at school. In "Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang," Tina inadvertently looks at another girl's test at the same time a bully named Chelsea is actively cheating. Convinced Chelsea is going to rat her out to Mr. Frond's new tattletale doll Accountability Billy, Tina panics. Then, the episode traps Tina and her family at home, with a broken heater, during a snowstorm. This prolongs her terror. What's going to happen when school opens back up?
The episode is a delight because Tina confesses her fear to Gene and Louise. (When they come to check on her, they say, "It's your brother and sister — from childhood.") The three of them bundle up together in a pillow fort to keep the heat in. Tina is the older sister, but in this case, Gene and Louise are the ones comforting her, telling her to call the other girl and walking her through her anxiety. It's a funny dynamic that allows for lots of jokes.
"Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang" is also a fun episode because of how great the animation looks, especially compared to earlier seasons. In addition to some great snow sequences, the kids' pillow fort — sorry, "Cushion Castle" — is made of beautiful earth tones, and the characters are lit by string lights that make the whole thing feel warm. It's a delight to watch.